Shadow love

Round 17: February 2028

Gabriel Domingo is 28, Drake is 2 and Eve Midlock is 27.

 

Narrated by Eve.

 

My pregnancy wasn't exactly a planned one - far from it - but I couldn't love Drake more if I tried. Things with Gabriel were a bit complicated at first, mostly due to my issues with commitment, but I think we're doing alright. Marriage and children have never been very high on my list of things I want in the future but being in a committed relationship isn't as bad as I thought. 

 

 

I just got back to work and honestly I feel so old. I was away for over 2 years and I feel like there are dozens of new younger girls trying to make their way to principal dancers. I can practically taste the judgment from the ballet master for my audacity to get pregnant instead of sacrificing myself to the altar of dance. For her nothing in life matters if it doesn't involve dance and anything that can take time away from dance is nonsense. Being away obviously means that I had to start over again from the bottom and really work my ass off in hopes of actually being cast in any productions. I try to practice at home as much as I can but with a walking, talking one-year-old it's not that easy. Usually I end up entertaining Drake rather than getting to do anything other than a few stretches here and there. 

 

 

We really like our apartment but it's not exactly a dream environment to raise a child in. The neighbours can be extremely loud and even if our bedroom and Drake's room are on the other side of the apartment it still irritates me so much when I hear the music from the other side of the wall. We've talked about buying a small house. It would mean taking a mortgage but we think it would be worth it. Just a little house with a little garden for Drake to run around in and our own space without annoying neighbours. Houses in Wellington and especially in Allerdale would be cheaper but I can't imagine moving there, at least not Allerdale, it's such a small town, more like a village, and I would die of boredom. Not that my social life is exactly thriving at the moment but still, I couldn't imagine living in a small village in the countryside.

 

Date nights usually mean a quick homemade dinner and making out in front of the TV after Drake has gone to bed. On Valentine's Day however Gabriel had booked a babysitter and a table at a nearby restaurant. It was really nice to get out of the house for once and the fact we both happened to have a night off was a miracle. 

 

I wasn't expecting a proposal at the end of our dinner. Gabriel looked so nervous and I, well I was surprised by what I felt. I didn't feel panicked, I didn't feel like running away or turning it into a joke. I looked into his eyes and just said what I knew I wanted to say: yes. As much as a full-on commitment scares me, I know there's no one in the world - at least at this moment - that I'd rather do it with.

 

We both agree that this will probably be a very long engagement because we're not really that anxious to get married. I see the engagement as an announcement of Gabriel's promise to be there for me and as my promise to be there for him. We don't need a marriage licence for that. We both agree that our main target now is to get us a small house somewhere. The wedding will happen at some point if it's meant to be.

 

One of the reasons I love Gabriel so much is that he's such a good father to Drake. Having grown up without a father myself I really want Drake to have both his parents in his life. It all turned out alright with me but I don't think dad and I will ever be as close as he is with his other kids.

 

I know Gabriel would probably get married tomorrow if I even hinted at that but he doesn't pressure me at all which makes it a lot easier for me to stay calm and not panic about being engaged. I don't know if we'll be together for always but for now it feels good.

Notes:

• Title from "Shadow love" by Anthony da Costa.
• Long time no see. As you can see I still play and still update the blog. Sitting in front of my computer is a nice distraction from the other aspects of my life (work and studies) where I also sit in front of my computer, LOL. But seriously my sims are a nice distraction and I wish I could muster up to play and update more often. Maybe this'll be like opening the ketchup bottle and more play sessions and updates will start pouring out.
• I don't know how much life my PC has left. Money is a bit tight at the moment but hopefully some time next year I'll be able to buy a new gaming PC (fingers crossed). Hopefully this one won't croak until I can buy a new one.
• This is my first update using the new Blogger editor and I hate it so so much. If the goal was to make blogging a lot harder then mission accomplished!